13 Ways To Be A Good Ol’ Lady
1. When your ol’ man takes you places with him or when he has company at home, DON’T talk too much! Try to be friendly and polite but NEVER, EVER just jump right into the middle of their conversation. If there’s anything a good man can’t stand, it’s a woman who talks too damn much! Besides, the more you talk, the more chance you have of saying something wrong.
2. You should always be enthusiastic about sex. Put a little effort into it. You gotta want to please him. Don’t you know that men love it when you get off getting him off? After all it’s not like he can’t do the job himself and probably just as good without you. But there’s no substitute for a lady who enjoys sex all the time. And remember there’s only one good reason to turn him down when he wants it. For those few days a month Rule #3 is a good one to remember.
3. If you got a problem w/ oral sex, GET OVER IT! All men love it, want it, need it. If you offered your old man a blowjob right now it wouldn’t matter what he was doing he’d stop long enough to take you up on your offer. And I can guarantee you that if you NEVER EVER offer him a blowjob, he would take any woman up on her offer for one right now.
4. Don’t ever swing on him in the heat of an argument, if he smacks you first. Maybe you got outta line and out of control and needed to be smacked to snap out of it. In case you didn’t notice women can turn into lunatic psycho bitches. But you are asking for trouble if you get in his face or attempt to stand up to him like another man would. If you fight with him like a man who can’t kick his ass, you’re gonna get your ass kicked like one too! If he abuses you, get the hell out and don’t go back. If you go back again and again, you got a lot more problems to worry about than how to be a good ol’ lady.
5. Always be respectful to him, especially in front of his brothers and friends. For no reason should you EVER be disrespectful to his brothers. If you really love your man and want the relationship to last for any length of time the brothers have to like you. This ain’t gonna happen if you don’t show respect.
6. If he does something to piss you off, and you forgive him, and or accept his apology for what he did, don’t bring it up in future arguments. Bringing it up over and over again won’t make him feel guilty but it will convince him what a snivelin’ bitch you are.
7. Don’t expect him to kiss your ass, just get a piece of it. This means when he does something to piss you off, don’t cut him off until you think he’s apologized enough or seen the error of his ways. You’re lucky if he apologized at all. Neglecting your man will never make him see the error of his ways because at that point all he can see is the error of yours. next time you argue with your man, maybe he will see your point a lot more clearly if you just stop bitchin’ at him and say,” I want you bad right now, so get over here and give it to me, baby!”
8. Don’t call around looking for him if he’s late coming home. Don’t call his work, don’t call his friends or brothers house.( If it’s a real emergency maybe). Otherwise you are being a nosey controlling bitch.
9.When he comes home late, don’t be waiting at the door ready to start bitchin’ at him again. If you want to greet him at the door, maybe you should try doing it in a pair of thigh high boots and nothing else! When he walks in and takes a look at you, I doubt there will be any arguing for awhile. And it seems to me that a man might rush his ass home a little quicker for a surprise like that every now and then!
10. Remember that a man gets bored if he has to climb into bed every night with someone covered in flannel from head to toe. The combination of you and his bed should always be a thought that is tempting and alluring to him, not something he dreads.
11. If your man refused to give you his time, attention, effort, affection, material objects, emotional support or money when wanted or needed it, do you think you would ultimately have any desire to have sex with him? (Probably not). Clearly all women, except those who NEVER give it up, are whores to a certain extent. Men end up paying for sex one way or another so learn to play the role of his very own “whore”. And don’t over do it, this rule only applies if it’s your ol’ man not everyone else’s. This rule should be omitted if you are actually making a living at being a whore.
12. NEVER, EVER threaten to call the police on him. As long as you choose to be with him, anything that transpires between you and your man is a “family matter”. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT. If you are unable to handle the situation, get out. If you are unable to get out, you’re in a hell of a mess. But you got yourself into it so…
13. If you give him an idea or make a suggestion that works out really well for him, don’t ever say that it was all your idea. Let him have the credit. Always try to make your man look good. If he really is a good one, he’ll give credit where credit is due, but only occasionally.